10/02: My laser eye surgery.

After a pre-operation assessment, I was advised that I can go ahead with the LASIK treatment.  Since my prescription wasn't very high, I opted out of Zyoptix laser (a more advanced form of laser used for LASIK/PRK treatment). 

On the day of the operation, I was asked if I wanted a sedative before the opreation.  I decided to take the sedative though you don't really need it.  The pill was so small, it didn't have much affect on me.  A few moments, later, I went into the operating room and met the surgeon who greeted me and asked me if I had any questions.  The optometrists answered all my questions so I was ready to go under the laser.

I laid on my back on the chair and the nurse positioned me under the laser.  The doctor put some eye drops in my eye. A few seconds later, I couldn't feel any sensitivity in my eyes when they placed a device to keep my lids open.  Then I could see the doctor cut a small flap and lift it.  My vision went very blurry.  The doctor turned on the laser.  I just saw the red laser beams coming from one bright red spot.  I was instructed to look at the bright spot and they fired away with the lasers.  It sounded like a little machine gun.  Then it stopped.  I was told to look at the laser again and the firing started again.  This happened one more time and the doctor put the flap back on.  Then he moved to the other eye and repeated the process.  The eye device was lifted and the procedure was complete.  The nurse help me get to a stool where I sat and waited for the doctor to check my eye.  He looked through some microscopes and said everything is good and congradulated me. 

When I left the operating room, I could see enough to walk and find my way around the place.  I put on my eye glasses and was taken home by my designated driver.  When I got home, I rested for a few hours and was able to see very well.  My eye was a bit sensitive but after about 6-7 hours, I was able to see 30/20. It was incredible how clear I could see.  Things seemed darker because of the sunglasses. But it was incredible to be able to see that clear after an operation.  The morning after, I was seeing 30/20... did all my checkups and everything was okay. 

Here's what happens to the eye...  


The cornea is the transparent part of the eye that covers the iris. It is also the main light bending part of the eye.


Anesthetic eye drops are given to numb the eye and the surgeon marks the cornea with water-soluble ink to guide replacement of the corneal flap.




The surgeon performs a keratectomy which creates a corneal flap. A keratectomy is a procedure that uses a small instrument that makes a cut in the cornea as it moves across it. The flap is lifted and reflected exposing the cornea beneath.


A computer-controlled laser reshapes the cornea to the prescribed shape for clear vision.



Source: - National Library of Medicine (National Institute of Health)

07/02: Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

 - From best of craigslist - Date: 20070215 - 9:08AM PST

  • Don't pick on the weak. It's immoral. Don't antagonize the strong without cause, it's stupid.
  • Don't hate women. It's a waste of time
  • Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.
  • Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.
  • As a former Marine, take it from me. Don't join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people's economic or political interests.
  • If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent's intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.
  • Don't be a Republican. They are selfdealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don't be a "conservative." They are whining, bitching, complaining, simpleminded selfrighteous idiots who think they're perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you'll see what I mean.
  • Don't take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don't want to come off as cynical.
  • You'll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don't owe the vast majority of people shit.
  • Don't undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually and collectively. Law enforcement's primary purpose is to suppress you.
  • As a young man, you're on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women's Study Departments, government, nonprofit
  • organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.
  • Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.
  • Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
  • Don't be afraid to tell people to "Fuck off" when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if your voice shakes.
  • Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and nonverbal communication. Don't just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you'll find your wife fucking somebody else.
  • Keep fit.
  • Don't speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she's wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you'll take her part.
  • Don't cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don't humiliate her. Don't risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don't do it where you live. Don't do it with people in your social circle. Don't shit in your own back yard.
  • If your girlfriend doesn't make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That's what girlfriends are for.
  • Don't bother with "emotional affairs." They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That's the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they're probably fucking someone else.
  • Becoming a woman's friend and confidant is not going to get you into an intimate relationship. If you haven't gotten the girl within a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won't ever get her. She'll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she's having with someone else.
  • Have and nurture friendships with women.
  • Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily. You're going to see some girl and feel like you'll die if you don't get her. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. It's her loss.
  • Don't be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a cadre of beautiful women advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex with you. Beautiful women don't need to advertise. The websites that advertise with attractive women's photos and claims of loneliness are baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so that they can market to you. The posts on Craigslist by young "women" seeking NSA sex, and asking for a picture are just a bunch of gay troll pic collectors. This is especially true if the post uses common gay lexicon like "hole" as in "fuck my hole" or seeks "masculine" men, or uses the word cock (except in the context of "Don't send a cock shot.") There are women on Craigslist. They are easily recognizable by their 25 paragraph postings. Most are in their 30's or older.
  • When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Gay guys will give you "the look." Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don't get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.
  • Don't gay bash. Don't mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It's none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.
  • If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you are. As a gay person, you'll have more social freedom than straight men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You'll find a welcoming community there.
  • Don't be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.
  • Don't believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says something enough times, doesn't make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
  • Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.san francisco

04/02: Collection of life advice quotes


Life and love like hide and seek, people spend their whole life looking for it, and when they finally stop looking, they find it.

The easy part of life is finding someone to love; the hard part is to find someone to love you back.

When you find love never let it go, it's a long fall down from the clouds.

A life with love is happy; a life for love is foolish.

We live our life trying to get through a closed door and miss the open window beside it.

True greatness is experienced through simplicity.

Expect nothing in life and you will never be disappointed.

Truth doesn't always hold happiness, and happiness doesn't always hold the truth.

Great minds discuss events, average minds discuss ideas, and small minds discuss people.

People who can hold their tongues rarely have troubles holding friendships.

Why is it that we love the ones who ignore us, and ignore the ones who love us?

Sometimes people who you thought you knew, start becoming strangers you never wanted.

Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the night saying, "I will try again tomorrow ".

Love for oneself is the beginning of life long romance.

01/02: Political Science student point of view on drugs...

D.S. is a university guidance counselor in Colorado and holds a Master's degree in political science. Now in his thirties, he sings in a semiprofessional choir and commutes to work by bicycle. D.S. suggests methods of cannabis use that contributed to his 4.0 GPA, his empathic understanding, and his responsible celebration of the world.

It saddens me that so many people who have tried pot did it as a teenager, experienced it in stupid teenage ways, and now think of pot as an adolescent "phase" they went through. Millions of Americans have tried pot, but have missed out on its many levels of enjoyment.

Because of this fact, I am thankful that I got a late start with pot; I didn't try it until I was 22 and had finished my bachelor's degree. I didn't get high until my 3rd attempt with pot, but when it kicked in, it did so with a bang. I was deliriously happy, my face and hands were tingling, and I laughed harder than I have ever laughed before. Being totally unfamiliar with its effects on short term memory, I found myself hilariously inarticulate, as my attempts to tell a story would keep digressing and digressing, until I couldn't remember where the story started. But it felt magical.

I enjoyed my experience so much that, being filled with anti-drug propaganda, I decided I would avoid getting addicted to pot by making a rule that I would have to let 6 months go by after smoking it before I could do it again. At the time, I didn't know many people who smoked pot, so I did it about once a year, enjoying it immensely every time. I had also met a few "cautionary tales," folks who were always stoned and appeared to be going nowhere in life, and they used pot as a part of their nowhere lifestyle.

A few years later, I went to graduate school, and was surprised that several of the smartest geniuses who were cruising through the PhD program were smoking pot on a daily basis. That's when I learned to stop fearing pot; it would not turn me into a loser. The loser stoners I had met were losers first, stoners second. Smart, healthy people who smoked pot continued to be smart, healthy people who had a better ability to think outside the box.

These fellow students introduced me to magic mushrooms (wonderfully spiritual) and LSD (too nihilistic and longlasting). I still try to do shrooms every year.

My last problem with pot was smoking. I hate smoke, I hate how it hurts my lungs (regardless of the pipe or bong used), and as a singer I hate how it hurts my voice. One lucky day, I wandered into a magazine store and discovered a magazine called Cannabis Culture which had an advertisement for a vaporizer, which I immediately ordered. That made my experience sooooo much better, and now I can forego the only truly unhealthy aspect of pot, which is the smoke.

So why do I vaporize pot? What does it do for me?

1. Laughter

Everyone says that laughter is proven to have many different health benefits. It improves your immune system, it decreases stress, and it's just damn enjoyable. Pot helps me find even more things funny than I normally do, which is quite an achievement.

2. Music

Many here have written about music, so I'll just add this. I had gotten into a bad habit of always listening to music while doing other things (reading, eating, surfing the web, playing a computer game, or all of these at once), that I didn't realize how much more there was to get out of music when it is the sole focus of attention. Pot helps me settle down and listen to music while doing nothing else. (And, it reveals to me which musicians are on drugs, as their music sounds amazingly different when I listen stoned.)

3. Empathy and understanding

Although I am a moral person, I have never been great at social norms/social graces; I have had to learn them. Here is a basic example. A friend and I would inspire some pot (it's not smoking, so I like the term "inspire" to indicate taking it into my spirit/lungs), and after a few minutes, I would realize that I'm thirsty. Then I would realize that my friend is also likely thirsty, so I would get up and pour us both some water. Although this example is elementary, I have since started applying this empathy to more and more things. It's interesting how many tasks are less onerous to do for someone else than for oneself.

4. Spirituality

For me, spirituality is a sense of awe about the world; I don't personify it at all. (Unfortunately, the term "atheist" is widely misunderstood and maligned.) Pot has done wonders to invigorate my sense of awe, in an ongoing way. Take trees, for example. They are these gigantic, amazing things that are all around us and we hardly notice them. Nowadays I find them to be incredible gentle giants who give me great solace, and it makes me happy to be surrounded by so much other life.

Lately, I have been in greater awe of the stereophonic, surroundsound experience of birds' songs. This used to be mostly background noise to me.

5. Sense of place

I often like to go for long walks and bike rides, stoned or sober. But when I'm sober, I tend to stick to the beaten path, and find myself following the same routes out of habit. But when I'm stoned, I am constantly amazed at how effortlessly I travel different paths and find nooks and crannies in my neighborhood that I've never seen before.


Not long ago, I visited Vancouver, where pot is tolerated in certain cafes (although it's BYOB). I found a place which was a nonsmoking place that sold art, vaporizers, other paraphernilia, and had a cafe where you could use their Volcano Vaporizers for your pot. I was amazed at how much better my high was, and how much better it felt in my lungs and how much better it tasted, even though I had been using a cheap vaporizer at home in recent years. And socializing with other people like me, in a public cafe, allowed me to taste the wonder of what a great social community pot can create if it is allowed out of the closet. I ended up buying their expensivebutamazing vaporizer, which I figured was a long term investment, and now I dream about this amazing place.


Clearly, I don't worry about my frequency of inspiring pot anymore, but I still have rules for a healthy, balanced life. My #1 rule is that I only get high when there's nothing else that I have to get done that day. Not only does this prevent me from being irresponsible, but it keeps me enjoying pot as a celebration, rather than a routine that I could take for granted.

Lately, this has the added benefit of encouraging me to get all of my tasks for the day done so that I can get my vaporizer going. On a related note, although I am now proficient doing most things while high (although I would never drive high, because I am only willing to endanger myself, not others), I find it extremely difficult to read while high.Interestingly, this has encouraged me to read more, and to get my reading done earlier in the day so that I can enjoy it before I turn on the vaporizer.


I have always loved learning, but now I'm doing more learning now than ever before. Pot feeds my intellectual curiosity, my desire to learn everything, and my attempts to get the most out of life.

Pot has also been a part of my transformation from someone who "questions authority" to someone who now has contempt for most of it. I continue to become more and more amazed at how many mainstream, accepted, normal things are completely insane.

Needless to say, pot has helped me develop an independent morality that is less infected with societal propaganda than ever before.

01/02: 20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Sanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a
Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They
Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee For 3 Weeks Maker. Once everyone has
Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8 . Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical
Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are
Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of sanity.......