28/07: UN Surveys
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN
The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
Food shortage in the rest of the world?'
The survey was a huge failure because....:
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' means.
In Western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' means.
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' means.
In the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' means.
27/07: Kids Are QuickKids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer intereste d?
HAROLD: A teacher
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that
you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all
way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys
have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested
enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids
with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck
-- Ricky, age 10
Just saw this very interesting announcment from bluraymods.com
"It has been a long time since we did our first DVD modification, we started in 1997 with the first player out, the "Panasonic A100". In the days of hardware modifications we did various infamous DVD mods for all big brands. We gave you FBI skipping, VCR Friendly and many other great features from our ICOS (Intelligent.Code.Operation.System) Dev team. Since most manufacturers started to make their own software updates, we didn't find any interest to continue with the developments and moved on to other markets.
We are very happy to introduce our ICOS HD series. First out is the SONY BDP-S300 and SONY BDP-S500. We will sell both kits and full modified players. The ICOS HD KITS are EXTREMELY hard to install and should ONLY be done by professionals. SONY ICOS HD Features:
Standard DVD: Dual Region 1 and 2 (PAL/NTSC).
Blu-Ray: Dual Region A and B.
For highest reliability, we use manual switching between Regions.
Very easy to operate with the original remote controll that comes with the player. This modification is FULLY upgradable with Official Firmware updates. The ICOS HD logic chip, uses 350Mhz flash-based FPGA technology from Actel. It has a super-fast, ultra-low-power 1.5V core. The chip is only active in a very short period when you switch between regions, rest of the time it is in sleep mode."